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Blog Dogs

Ray the Romanian Rescue

We rescued our dog Ray from Romania a year ago. He wasn’t being held captive there, like some kind of canine Julian Assange accused of espionage. Romania let him go freely; in fact they were probably grinning from ear to ear when they saw his big fluffy tail wagging off into the distance. ‘So long Ray, you’re fun, but boy you’re not easy!’ 

I always said I wanted a dog to wrestle with, and as Romania is pretty successful at the sport of wrestling, that seemed an obvious place to go looking for a dog who would fit the bill. Oh that, and the fact they have a lot of dogs with no homes.

In Ray, we’d taken on less of a Greco-Roman Wrestler, more of a Mike Tyson . He’d bite your ear given half the chance and you wouldn’t want to go twelve rounds with him. It would start as nibble, and unless you nipped it in the bud (pardon the pun), he’d progress quite quickly to biting you. He’s eaten several ears in the past year. Pigs ears, cow ears, rabbit ears, he’s really not fussy. It might explain why his hearing is so good.

He also has incredible vision, not in the kind of way Steve Jobs had great vision, in that he can see things moving on the horizon. He’s always on the look out for a wolf or a bear in the distance. I’ve told him that a) those predators are now extinct in the UK and b) he doesn’t have a flock of sheep to protect. It might sound like I’m bigging him up, like a proud parent over exaggerates the qualities and achievements of their own child. I’m not. It’d be easier if he had crap eyesight and hearing.

On walks, people love to know what breed Ray is. We think he’s some kind of Shepherd (take your pick out of Carpathian, Bucovina, Romanian Raven Sheep Dogs), but we’re not sure, so I just tell them straight. He’s a Mutt. He’s also a really good actor. We went to meet Ray in November 2020 at his temporary home in Lincolnshire after arriving from Romania. Lincolnshire is quite a hotspot for EU migrants, bloody dogs coming here and taking all of our jobs! Of course I’m joking, there is very little chance that Ray could become a Guide Dog or Drug Detection Dog. He wouldn’t be able to resist biting the Guide Dog owner and eating any drugs he found.

We drove home from Lincolnshire while Ray slept peacefully in the boot of the car for 2 hours. A dog that walks well on the lead and sleeps soundly in the car? The Perfect Dog, we’ve lucked out here, we thought. All the while Ray was plotting what he had in store for us. Chewing furniture, barking at 5am to wake the neighbours, guarding things, frantic behaviour, humping guide dogs, chasing everything that moved and barking at things that didn’t move. 

What a world we live in. If you’d told us prior to last year we’d be adopting a Street Dog from Romania (via facebook) and we’d be having Zoom calls with a Dog Behaviourist, we might not have believed it. Three grown-ups analysing videos of Ray and formulating a plan of action, all the while Ray was in the room and none the wiser. I’ve had 38 years of dogs in the family, surely I was qualified to take on an 8-month old, intelligent Sheep Dog? He’s quite unlike any other dog we’ve had in the family. For a start, he loves going to the vet. During the COVID pandemic we’ve had to sit and wait in the car in the vet’s car park during appointments. By the look on Ray’s face when he reappears from the surgery, I can only assume they pour dog treats down his throat to keep him happy. He’ll eat vitamin tablets and medicine like they are treats (absolutely could not be a Drug Detection Dog). For normal dogs you have to surreptitiously hide the tablets in pieces of ham or cheese to get a dog to hold them down. Even then, they’d still eat the ham and spit out the tablet!

I’ve spent more time studying Ray’s diet than my own. I’ve taken a healthy interest in his poos, which any non-dog owner would find unsettling. He has more silly nicknames than I’d care to mention. As if the name Ray was not ridiculous enough already. He’s terrified burly workmen with his ferocious bark and he’s made little girls coo over his cuteness. He’s a bit of a conundrum. It’s been a journey and there’s still a long way to go. So here’s to the next year Ray. In fact we’ll just take it one step, one sit and one staaay at a time.

Categories
Blog Dogs

Well hello again

22/09/21 – Due Date +1

It’s been a little while since I’ve written on here. The last time I thought I’d leave it on a high (metaphorically speaking), specifically with Little Steve in Sainsbury’s. And then life gets in the way. It’s been a busy few months at work (some of the busiest on record). I’ve been busy painting the house and at the same time preventing Ray from ransacking the house. The little scoundrel. I’ve been writing along the way and will get round to publishing some more. Baby is due now, so I’ll have loads of free time to do this, ha!

The extension is now complete and I’ve just installed a metal pen in the lounge for Ray with 1m walls (dubbed Fort Knox), which obviously looks delightful. But needs must. Better that than coming down in the morning to second guess which book or piece of furniture he’d savaged overnight. He did his best to eat Michelle Obama’s book, eating half of the spine. But I managed to salvage it and pass it on to my Mum.

But even the President of the USA doesn’t have perfect dogs. The last I heard, one of Biden’s rescued German Shepherds bit a security aide and had to be dealt with. I just Googled it and Major has passed away at the grand age of 13. RIP Major.

If you follow me on instagram you’ll see that 90% of my posts are related to Ray. And that is a good approximation of my free time dedicated to Ray. At the minimum that involves being in the same room as him to ensure he’s not up to no good. Double negative definitely required for that sentence. He’s rarely up to good things for his family and community. He’s not Lassie. Although, very occasionally he does come across Lassie-esque, charging up to us wanting to tell us something. We like to think he’s telling us that a little boy is stuck down a well and Ray is getting the help. Obviously, it’s best if boys don’t get stuck down wells, but secretly you want to believe your dog is intelligent.


Edit: Helena tells me I should write some nice things about Ray. Ray I apologise if I’ve hurt your feelings buddy. We do love you really and you are a lot of fun to be around. #mansbestfriend

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Dogs

Lika

In 2019 Helena received a huge present under the Christmas Tree from me. Actually, it was too big to even fit under the tree! It was the size of a large sack of dog food. The present was that size, because it was in fact, a large sack of dog food. We didn’t even have a dog. Not exactly what she was expecting to receive, but you know, sometimes I like to exceed people’s expectations. The message was pretty clear though, we were going to get a dog.

Helena’s 2019 Christmas present – what more could a girl/woman need?

We were on the lookout for a big dog. As Helena made clear in our suitability interview with Battersea Dogs Home, it should be One That Simon Could Wrestle With. I hadn’t really wanted them to know that I had a thing for wrestling with dogs, but I don’t think it was a red cross against our names.

On the 6th November 2020, along came Lika, not from Battersea Dogs Home, but from Romania. Not because Romania produce good wrestlers (although they do), but because they have a lot of stray dogs.

Lika was more well-travelled than most in 2020 (Romania-Hungary-Austria-Germany-The Netherlands-Belgium-France). Her substantial road trip through Europe, bringing her to the land of hope, glory and animal lovers. The Romanian couriers placed her through our front door and then left to deliver their other animals around the UK. “They must think we’re mad,” I said to Helena, as we were left with one very smelly, frightened dog.

Lika in her Den

If we were mad, we were not the only ones on our street, as our neighbour has two rescue dogs from Romania. The hope was that one day they would all meet and converse in their native tongue, reminiscing about their days back in Romania.

In the most middle-class discussion of dog food that’s ever taken place, I asked Helena “Shall we give Lika brown or white rice?” I went with brown. I needn’t have bothered with the 25mins cooking time, as in the end, Lika preferred the white stuff. This was a dog after Helena’s own heart. I even slow-cooked her chicken thighs to succulent perfection. “Will she notice they are slow-cooked?” Helena asked. Lika enjoyed her slow-cooked, seasoned chicken very much, I’m sure of it. 

Once consumed, that chicken and rice had to end up somewhere. After the first cleanup job, Lika was under strict instructions as to where she should make her deposit. X marked the spot, but Lika had other ideas about where to hide the treasure. Thankfully she didn’t hide it anywhere.

Lika pooed anywhere but there

Anyone with children or pets will be all too familiar with this. Buy your loved one an expensive present or toy and they’re probably more likely to play with the box that it came in, or something else altogether. As douting owners we bought toys, a puzzle and a tough rope to chew. And what did Lika eat? The red towel in her bed.

Mmmm towel

Now this writing may come across as rather upbeat when you read what comes next. Maybe it is one of my ways of dealing with the situation and keeping my mind busy. I’d like to think we can remember Lika in a positive way.

Very sadly, unexpectedly and quickly Lika passed away today. We hadn’t know her for long (10 days), but she did win our hearts. Thanks go to Pets 1st Vets in Egham, for being caring, compassionate and professional in their work. Less thanks go to the insurance company who don’t cover you for the first 14 days of your policy. As if losing your new best friend was not stressful enough.

With the end of one chapter comes a new beginning. Today The Dog Runner got hired for the first time, to run with Bruce. Bruce is a strong dog, with a strong name. Part labrador, part German Shepherd, part action hero. The kind of dog that could dispense of Alan Rickman out of a tower block window while barking Yippie ki yay! Though I expect that when Bruce Willis goes for a run, he pees on fewer trees and doesn’t chase as many squirrels as this Bruce does.

Bruce, you’ll need to start looking at the camera if you plan to be a movie star

Lika, you were taken too soon and we will miss you.

RIP Lika (2/5/20 – 16/11/20)

xxx